We the jello patriots are pleased to announce our new jello strategy, Free Kony 2012, we the jello patriots are sure that Kony is being held prisoner by these militant children in the LRA, and we are starting a ad campaign to save him from his captors.
Please stop these evil 10-13 year olds, and save Kony, after all a prisoner of your own creation is still a prisoner.
Once we save him we will take him to Denmark, to lead our army so the jello revolution can begin, he is a proven leader after all he created a child army, that says everything, have you ever tried to get a child to clean his or her room, it’s almost impossible, he will of course be paid well, we offer a lifetime supply of jello, and other jello related products.
Evil succeeds, when good men fail to act, so please Free Kony 2012.
Although we have had some speed bumps, we have won our first battle, like the helpless lion taking on the mighty gazelle, we are winning against all odds.
We at jello pyramid corp thank you for all donations, the donations have made our board of directors very wealthy, and we are sure that sometime in the future that money will “trickle” down to all our contributors at the bottom of the great and majestic jello pyramid.
We are pleased to say we have a monopoly on the selling of used toothpicks, and we are concocting several other great business schemes.
Thank you jello people.
In a sad and dreadful world, the only escape is jello
The construction of the jello pyramid was going after plan, we were ahead of schedule, but then we discovered, our construction crew made a fatal error.
The pyramid is now pink!!
As we now from previous post, pink is the flavor of hate, and must be destroyed.
Jello corp, which is short for corpses, will be dumping it’s entire supply of corpses into the mixture in hopes of changing the color, but we are short corpses, so sign up TODAY and donate your corpse to jello corp, so you can be a part of the jello pyramid also.
But hurry, we only offer this to 1million corpses, and the spots in history are sure to fill up soon.
Jello is great and so am I
In the words of the great JTK, “It is better to take a chance and fail, then to not take that chance and say what if”.
That kind of boldness is what has inspired the revolution, we do not give up, we take those chances.
I urge all Danish people to be bold, throw away your ” æbleflæsk” your “røde pølser” and “hakkebøf” and get some beef flavored jello or potato flavored jello, any jello.
All we ask is for you to join us, protest the ways of old, and submit yourselves to your future jello overlords.
Do not be afraid of jello, it will not bite, unless you like it.
So join us Danish people and we promise some of you will not perish.
If you are to lose, lose with dignity, if you are to win, win as if you had never won before.
“free will” the enemy of religions all around the world, the jello god gave us life, she gave us everything, even free will.
And what to the heathens do after they are given this gift?
They believe in something wrong, a crazy cult, that preaches mercy, “love”, kindness, that is not the sort of thing our great jello god wanted us to practice and believe in.
Our great god stands for strength, power, control and eventually destruction of the weak.
Stand up against these heathens and their leader count Chocula.
The one true faith will win in the end, even if we all die trying.
Jello is for the strong and mercy is for the weak.
Unfortunately with success comes controversy, and the “haters”, that are only jealous of our great success.
But we must give a DISCLAIMER : jello pyramid inc and jello corp are not responsible for any diseased and/or tainted toothpicks it or its many sellers sell.
We cannot control if the person or persons that used the product before had any illness or diseases, and you cannot just expect us to wash all these toothpicks, there are over a trillion.
It is not our wish to harm anybody with our great product, but accidents happen, and as the rule of nature goes ” the strongest will survive”.
So you might say we are making the world stronger, one tooth pick at a time.
Life is all about sex, drugs and jello love.